Feeling the need to feedback? An itch to align? A quick Gmail graze?
To ensure our beloved clients truly committed to putting the tools down this silly season, we equipped them with a relic from a time when bricks roamed the earth. Introducing the Motion Sickness Burner Phone. Designed for Xmas dis-connectivity, and boasting none of the technology you need, the Burner Phone will help you remember life beyond the confines of the cubicle.
This device is mostly useless—on purpose. Now you will have full access to the offline world without the urge to check your inbox. Frustrating Functionality will make your response time slower than ever, giving you even more excuses to leave someone on read. Say goodbye to intrusive notifications and mindless doom-scrolling; this phone has no room for any apps, meaning you’ll have to like your friends' comments in person.
However, should epiphany occur away from the stay of one's swivel chair, this fully functional brick is equipped with a failsafe, a preloaded SIM and a 24/7 hotline to Motion Sickness.